First off, we must thank Ashley Abercrombie (you seriously MUST check out her blog https://ashabercrombie.wordpress.com/) for encouraging me to write this as a blog… I threw a quick post up on Facebook about a moment I was experiencing and her comment was “next blog post!!!… With that many exclamation marks, how could I not write this up…
While sitting in my car this afternoon, on my lunch break, listening to music, the song “When a Heart Breaks” came on… My mind immediately went from daydreaming about the amazing weekend ahead to thoughts of this time two years ago.
This time, two years ago I suffered an immense heartbreak. My world was flooded with darkness and hope seemed to no longer exist in the world. There were 2 people who knew about the pain and one of them literally carried me through. There were times when I didn’t have the strength to eat or get off my couch. My one friend would come to my house and make me a meal just to be sure I ate something for the day…. Despite the pain I was experiencing, I continued to live life as normal as possible. I worked a full time job and led in several areas of a local church. On the outside I appeared to be thriving… but internally I was dying. I specifically remember one evening, going into my kitchen to get some water and feeling so weak from the pain, I fell to the floor and laid there crying… All I wanted was for God to take the pain away.
The pain began in May of 2013 and it wasn’t until September of 2013 that light began to break through the darkness… I was tired of feeling empty Monday through Saturday only to feel a brush of God on Sunday…. I told God that if He gave me another day that I would be different. I would start my day differently and although I had no clue what it would look like, I would live differently for that day. The next morning I woke up and I spent the entire day encouraging and praying for everyone I could think of…. by the end of the day I had a glimpse of hope. Shortly after that I decided it was time to find a new church… so I did and then I discovered the Single Parents Ministry at my new church. The first night of meeting together, I walked in feeling like I had just been in a fight for my life… I remember telling my one friend, on the way there, that I was too tired and I just wanted to go home… She insisted I go to meet these people and because of her faithfulness and genuine love for me, I went.
Two years later and I am living out my dreams… I have had the honor and privilege to lead groups in our Single Parents Ministry, record video blogs on parenting and being a woman after Gods heart, watch preschoolers unwrap the wonders of God, study and serve under some of the most amazing disciples of Christ and share my story with people who, like me, may be in need of a glimpse of hope. I am known as the woman who is ALWAYS smiling… not because of the mask I used to wear but because God has filled me with so much joy that it just flows out of me. I am excited about everyday that I am given and I am so full of the hope of Christ.
No matter what you are going through in this moment… please know that it is only temporary. God has a plan and a purpose for you and although you may not be able to see outside of the darkness… His plan is good! Never let anyone tell you that you need to “get over it” but surround yourself with people who love God and who can see the most beautiful parts of you… the parts you struggle to see. Get plugged into a church that breaths life and know that you are not alone.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit ~ Psalm 34:18